Friday, 27 February 2009

Essence of Creation

Last night I went for a walk to the sports field near my house. The night sky was clear; the wind had an icy edge; the fields and the streets took on a different persona in the darkness; a more claustrophobic one. When I reached the sports field, it was an open expanse, an oasis of greying green, surrounded by the distant shadows of homes.

I laid down in the middle of an empty tennis court. Strange, I know, but the people who walked by were people I'd probably never see again, so I just lay there, looking up at the stars. I was with a friend, and they were humming softly to themselves, but I felt completely alone... hypnotised by the enthralling pinpricks of other worlds above me, and by the wind whistling through the trees.

I felt like I was listening to departing footsteps, but hearing a grasping melody.

I know many people, when confronted by the entirety of Space, feel insignificance for their lives, and the world they see through their eyes, but I don't think we should feel this way.

We should feel like an integral part of the world.

Part of the Universe.

One of the essences of creation itself.

When I look up to the night sky, I feel like I'm not alone. Like there's something, somewhere, watching. Helping. And although it makes me desperate for true knowledge, and puzzled by the fact that our facts are only theories awaiting proof, the sight of the stars and the fact that I'm here makes me feel overwhelmingly privileged to be a part of something so amazing.

Insignificance is not the word.

Just a tiny part of a massive puzzle, yet to be solved.

I don't know how long I lay there, staring at the stars, but long enough for these thoughts to entwine my mind, and take it over as I stared with focused happiness.

Whatever you believe about the creation of the world, it is a breathtaking thing. Only scarred by our unappreciating selves, but I'm sure, if we ever were to go, it would heal faster than we could imagine. And I know it scares some people to know the only thing they will leave on this Earth are fading memories, but in some ways I see it as a comfort. Given time, the world can heal, and things will always carry on as they were supposed to. We are just a page still being read and yet to be turned over in the history of the world.

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Indiy the Gecko

Well, still aiming to write a bit about my day-to-day life here, but today not too much happened. I went for a long walk in the woods, which as always was beautiful - the overcast sky made me see the place in a different light; an almost magical light. It's strange how oddly amazing the silhouette of skeletal trees can be. Staring up at the sky, entwined with delicate branches, I wished I had a camera on me, but as always I had forgotten it for a time when I really needed it!

I spent some of the evening with Indiy, my Leopard Gecko. 4 years and he still amazes me; it may sound strange but lizards can be brilliantly intuitive. Just as I walked into my room today, he came running up to the glass and put both hands against it - he does this when he wants to be sprayed with water, and surely as always this was what he wanted. I then realised I had no pictures of him, so he had his first experience of a photo shoot today....

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Writer's Block...

It's strange how I don't tend to write about my life on this blog, as that is what I intended it to be, but instead I write about the random commentary which are my thoughts...

Right now, I feel I need inspiration .... writer's block is perhaps the most frustrating of all feelings, but it's so hard to find in the confines of indoors. At least it is for a girl who spends most of her life wandering outside in nature, blown away by the complex beauty that lies within. Such beauty doesn't seem to capture me in man-made goods.

So, I suppose as I have no particularly intriguing thoughts, but am still doomed by writer's block, I should write a little about myself.

I live in North England, where I just recently moved from the south. I go to high school. Which I don't like. But next year I will be going to college to do A levels to become a biologist, and I cannot wait! The main talk at school is how everybody is so scared of going to college, but I've been ready for too long now, and I think I'm going to love it.... :)

In a month, I am moving again, to Cheshire. I visited the house yesterday with my dad and my brother, and it is amazing! It's in a small hamlet, at the bottom of a valley, isolated yet entwined in a lovely community. While there I found a badger set just behind our house, saw many rabbits, a fox, and a Buzzard swooped brilliantly close above my head. Buzzards never cease to amaze me! Their graze, splendour, ease and beauty...

I feel restless though. I love moving, and I just want to go. My house at the moment is far too normal, in a normal neighbourhood.... my new house is a unique architectural design - slightly odd and quirky, but fun too...

I'm also restless about this summer. Exuberant, excited, jittery, and restless to leave: I'm going to the Peruvian Amazon, alone, for 3 weeks. I am absolutely, completely over-excited about this venture. The Amazon has been my dream since I first watched a David Attenborough (the king of my idols...) documentary about it when I was about 5. Now I am finally going, and nothing else seems to matter! Apart from the small matter of my GCSE's beforehand....but I try to avoid this thought as much as possible!

The Amazon..... I am still in utter disbelief!

I think I was born to travel. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the world. Experiencing different cultures. Routine bores me, and change makes me feel whole. But I'm not the voice of experience; no where near, so I can only hope that my vibrant energy for travelling isn't diluted as I get older. And I hope with all my heart that my fascination with nature and animals can grow into a voice of experience....

Wow, who knew I would manage to write about myself for that long. It may just be rambling though. I haven't quite mastered the art of a blog about day-to-day life, but maybe a blog about day-to-day thoughts, and the one-off entry about the truly amazing experiences will do. Here's hoping :)

I thought I would leave on some pictures and quotes... this, a fleeting glimpse of me and a beautiful lakeside park in Devon. I never did grow out of swings... feeling like I'm flying is like a taste of longed-for freedom.
And below, childhood was always a freedom to me, so I won't forget it. Mud paint at 15, and I refuse to give up! I generally adore this photo as well - a complete accident, and we still manage to look like evil tyrants!

"Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself."

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you have imagined..."

"When you cease to dream, you cease to live."

"Be the Change you want to see in the world"

Thursday, 19 February 2009


Wandering round iTunes, I found a singer called Brett Dennen, and his song 'All we have'. I think the base to a good song are the depth of the lyrics, and the meaning behind the voice; so by that standard, this song is absolutely amazing!

Here are just a few of the lines that gave me that good-music-vibe....if you know what I mean :)

"It's got us all in competition

For wealth and recognition

Globalization I say's a contradiction"

"So we can rise above the madness"

"There's enough wealth for everyone

But some have the most

And most have some"

"There's enough food for us all to flourish

Tell me why are so many malnourished

You say there's weakness in an empty pocket,

No and I'll tell you there's weakness in an empty heart"

"And if you give it,

I have learned it'll all be returned

If you only give love

If you only just give your love"

If you have time, have a listen to the song, and tell me what you think. I think it captures the strife of this world yet the spark of hope in every one of us for something better amazingly.

Where would we be without music? :)

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Double Trouble...

Today I decided to attempt to take some decent pictures of my lovely Chinchillas .... Unfortunately I think Chinchillas may actually be the hardest creatures on Earth to take a good picture of! Please tell me if you know of harder! Out of dozens of pictures, these were the few that came out with a visible Chinnie in - the others are just blurs of grey and white...

The white Chinchilla is Zhambe, the bulky boy, and the grey one his little sister, Mungo. They're both still babies, and they're incredibly entertaining! They always manage to put a smile on my face...

"Love of animals is a universal impulse, a common ground on which all of us may meet. By loving and understanding animals, perhaps we humans shall come to understand each other."

— Dr. Louis J. Camuti

"Animals are not brethren, they are not underlings; They are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time."

— Henry Beston, American Author, also known as "The Vagabond of the Dunes" (1888-1968)

Tuesday, 10 February 2009


This morning I woke up while the darkness still engulfed the world outside, but still I drew my curtains enthusiastically in the hope that maybe it had snowed again last night. It hadn't. So as I prepared for the novelty of snow to disappear, and life to return to the steady tiresomeness of routine, I also prepared to not have the most enlightening day.

But as I walked down to the bus stop, just after the sun had risen in the clear skies, I was surprised by feeling uplifted and exuberant. Everything seemed beautiful, in its most simple form. I didn't need novelty, or no routine, I just needed to open my eyes, and on this crisp winters morning it seemed the perfect time to do this.

The pastel colours of the bird song in the back of my mind,

The way the sun made the dew twinkle on the grass,

The scattered light shining through the beautiful skeletons of trees,

The remaining memory of snow in the snowmen; the memory of laughing children and families in gloves and scarves, and bright red cheeks,

The cold breeze blowing on my face,

The smile of a friendly stranger, and the happy eyes of their four legged friend,
My shadow morphed into a giant, skipping along the pavement....

I never thought sentimentality would capture me, but it is not something that hits you, it is something that grows inside you. Everything is so beautiful when you look at it with an open mind, and a smile on your face. Tonight I got in to hear of the further devastation in Australia, and the sentimentality in my mind was gone, but it stays within me, ready for another care-free, beautiful morning, where everything might just seem beautiful again. Beautiful in it's simplest form, without the need for novelty.

"It is the simple things that make life wonderful."

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."
"A closed mind is a good thing to lose."


Sunday, 8 February 2009

Innocence of Snow,

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
Snow. A blank canvas, ready for you to make your mark. I love snow; I've seen it only 5 times in my life, but when I do see it, I revert back to being the 5 year old, excitable, ecstatic little girl who couldn't believe the beautiful little stars landing on my gloves were really there.
We all return to innocence in the snowfall. A snow day, we're all off school, and we have a snowball fight in a blizzard, laughing and rugby tackling eachother; sledging down the hills and venturing out onto an icey lake - a game of chicken.
The towns and cities become a massive playground for us all, while the countryside turns into the most beautiful sight in the world. So after my day of rolling around in the snow, I went for a walk in the woods, and nostalgia swept over me. Why can't everyday be a snow day? Why can't this uncaring happiness be never ending?
Maybe because then the moments that take our breath away, like when I was standing by the beautiful, frozen lake, remiscing about winters years ago, would simply just turn into breathing. And without moments that take our breath away, where would we be?